November 21, 2005
Dwat Dose Repubwickans
I got this in an email. Suppose it's true?
It just ticks me off dat dose damn repubwickans would go and try to take Mr. Murtha at his word and insist ona pullout of Iraq immediately. My daddy called it coitus interruptus what ever dat means.
I just hates it when I don't get my way... dwat dem damn repubwickans!
signed... John Da Hero Kerry. Nest Pwesident
November 20, 2005
Hey!
Where'd that post go?
Look, kids, I don't dislike any of you! Don't get the wrong idea.
I just had to get that off my chest because, well, I'm going on a plane today and who knows what'll happen.
As far as the Yahoo group, I wasn't exactly a heavy participant anyway. Ya'll don't need me.
And Another Thing
Why the fuck is there a channel on my T.V, called NICK GAS.
And why the fuck is my son addicted to it?
November 19, 2005
US sends WMD to Jordan
Dudes,
Todays news is that islam leaders want to kill the king of Jordan! Do you believe Jordan still has a king! What the fuck is that, they bow down to the king and now these islam leaders want to kill him!
We could help, we sneak Cartman into Jordan and he eats his way into the kings chamber and farts. That would kill the king and everyone else.
I wonder if Cartman would be classified as a WMD.
The US would use WMD’s because Jordan sucks dude!
Wait Doesn’t the king of Jordan ride a Harley?
Piss annt democrats
They are a bunch of cowards. why do they all have to double talk?
If they want out get the hell out. They should vote that way
Uncle ned says we should Nuke Mecca! its jsut a sand hold anyway
November 18, 2005
Don't touch yourself
Children,
If you touch yourselves it will fall off
If you work your hair into a frenzy and have to ask for help all the time, IT will fall off.
Look at the fucking French, they touch themselves all the time. and they fell off when they we your age.
so Don't touch yourselves, call for help or for someone to defend you…
November 17, 2005
Do Us A Favor, Willya?
If you nominate yourself for the Weblog Awards, nominate yourself in one fucking category.
Don't sit there for 2 hours and nominate yourself in every fucking category, like some people have.
November 16, 2005
More Abuse Claims-Iraq
Iraqis Say Troops Caged Them With Nekkid Women
WASHINGTON --Two Iraqi businessmen, who were imprisoned by U.S. forces in Iraq, claimed Monday that American soldiers threw them into a cage of nekked (American)women in a Baghdad palace, as part of a terrifying interrogation in 2003.
"They took me behind the cage, they were screaming at me, scaring me and beating me a lot," Thahe Mohammed Sabbar said in an interview. "One of the soldiers would open the door, and two soldiers would push me in. The nekked women came running toward me and they pulled me out and shut the door. I completely lost consciousness." The Iraquis are getting medical treatment for *THUD* disease- an American male disorder known to effect men who see women. Nekked.
They both described standing in front of a cage, and said they could hear other prisoners screaming as the metal cage door creaked open and slammed shut. They both described the women's thongs, made of lace or leather, being strewn over their heads and limbs. Steel bra's were also placed on various parts of the men's bodies.
"They threatened that if I did not confess they would put me in the cage," said Khalid, adding that the soldiers kept asking him where Saddam was. "I laughed, I thought they were kidding me. They asked where are the weapons of mass destruction. I was very surprised and I thought it was weird."
Both men said they suffer continuing physical and psychological trauma, such as pain, ulcers, nightmares and insomnia.
Sabbar said he was held by U.S. forces for about six months, while Khalid was held for about two months.
November 15, 2005
Hillary Visits Jerusalem
JERUSALEM -- Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton visited Jerusalem's Western Wall on Monday, slipping a personal note between the stones before heading to a memorial service for assassinated Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin.
Children threw rocks and spitballs at the New York Democrat, while she posed with women celebrating their sons' Bar Mitzvahs _ a Jewish rite of passage _ at the Western Wall. The women all appeared to be distracted by something, coughing and sneezing and wiping their eyes. It was noted a strong distinct odor was in the area.
A blue shawl draped around her shoulders, Clinton spent a few solitary moments before the massive structure, while her male security detail stood on the sidelines, barred from the exclusively women's portion of the holy site. The guard men were seen giving Clinton the finger and making other gestures toward her.
Clinton did not reveal the content of the note she slipped into the wall. Many Jews believe that pleas placed between the stones of the holy site will be answered by God. Through a request of the FOI act, this reporter was able to get a copy of the note. In part it said,
"Dear Bill,
I'm in the center now. You're old news. Move along. Go ahead and see all those other women, I have my own lady friends now who will take care of me.
Just don't get caught! I cannot afford any scandals at this time. My record, my life must appear sqeaky clean if I am to become the next POTUS."
Later, Clinton toured an Israeli fire station and ambulance service. At the Jerusalem station of the Magen David Adom rescue service, Clinton bent over a computerized CPR model to compress its chest. The guardsmen plugged their noses as Clinton bent over.
Magen David Adom officials presented Clinton with a personalized field officer's vest and implored her to hang it in the Oval Office one day. Clinton smiled but did not respond to the suggestion. The officials turned away and laughed and shook their heads in disgust.
"I'll have to do much more practice on the mannequin before I can wear this," Clinton joked as she slipped the vest over her shoulders. One of the guardsmen was overheard to say something to the effect, "Yeah well they don't make these vests big enough to fit around you!" Clinton was observed giving the man a targeted and cold stare.
While condemning the violence, Chirac also reached out to disgruntled suburban youths
Chirac says...
President Jacques Chirac said Monday that the unrest in the Muslim rich neighborhoods of France is a sign the nation isn't doing enough to appease the Islamafreakoids. While the rest of the world is being led to believe that these riots are about discrimination, Chirac noted that it may have something to do with the recent addition of a Pork Grinding facility in Clichy-sous-Bois.
In his first address to the nation since the rioting began, the president said jobs and benefits will be offered to the youths who seek employment at this pork house. He said all citizens should be more diverse with meat products that may go against the religious beliefs of Muslims.
French law must be obeyed, but values and hope also must be kindled in youths living in the poor, largely immigrant suburbs ringing French cities, he said.
"These events testify to a profound dislike of Pork...this is a crisis of direction, a crisis of reference points and a crisis of identity," he said. "We will respond by being weak, being unjust and being faithful to the pork factory's CEO (who is also extremely anti-American and has a stake in the UN Oil-For-Food scandal...
Chirac spoke after the Cabinet approved a measure banning all pork products, along with a state of emergency over lasting 12 days to three months. The parliment was to debate the bill Tuesday. There will be a possibility of the pork factory being shut down.
Chirac, who turns 73 later this month, was hospitalized in September for a blood vessel problem that many thought was a stroke. However, he showed no signs of an ailment Monday. Unusually, he wore spectacles, as he had done in his youth. He was observed eating a bacon and sausage sandwich. He was wearing a Tee shirt that had the words- "Eat Pork, the other white meat" on it.
He announced the creation of a corps of volunteers to offer training for 50,000 Muslim youths by 2007, and told companies and unions they must encourage meat diversity and support employment for youths from tough neighborhoods. The pork factory was allowed to do business here for this reason.
STOP THE ACLU Interviews GLENN
Jay @ Stop The ACLU has interviewed Glenn. Let's have a look.
JAY::1. What inspired you to start blogging? When did you start?
GLENN: I started blogging when you were just an infant Jay. So no, you had nothing to do with it. Neither did the ACLU.
JAY:: 2. How long did it take to become successful at it, and build up your loyal readership?
GLENN: About a week. But I blog about all sorts of things, and I have an open opinion about most stuff. Success came after I learned to stop link whoring, to stop leaving comments at others sites-comments that were promoting my blog. My readers came back after they realized I wasn't looking for JUST SITE HITS.
Indeed.
JAY:: 3. What advice would you give to us smaller blogs in our efforts to become more successful and gain more readership?
GLENN: Heh...See above. Stop link whoring. AND link up to other bloggers for a change...stop insisting they all trackback to YOU. Post often, and keep your writing original and fresh. Write about other things now and again. Most of all, stop being annoying with the constant site promotion. It gets old.
JAY::4. How many other blogs do you read each day? Which ones are your favorites?
GLENN: Not your site Jay. Not any of the far right radical sites you tend to gravitate too.
JAY:: 5. In one of your post in which we had some disagreements, you stated:
BOOKS LIKE THIS ONE ON THE ACLU, which I just got in the mail, are probably no worse than the myriad of hatchet jobs done in the past on, say, the NRA or (more recently) the Federalist Society. But I think that demonizing the ACLU is a bit silly. I do feel that they’ve become overly partisan in recent years, but they still do good work (I’ve worked with them in the past, on the New Orleans rave case for example, and will probably do so again.)
Did you ever take the time to read this book? Did you conclude that it was a hatchet job? Do you think it was fair to assume such a conclusion on this book without reading it?
GLENN: But of course I read the book, idiot, I wouldn't have posted about it had I not. Indeed. Thats a stupid question Jay. Just because I didn't walk away with the same opinion as you did (and you're totally obsessed with hating the ACLU) doesn't mean I didn't read it.
JAY:: 6. How would you define demonizing the ACLU? Do you think they should be criticized?
GLENN: The ACLU is not a bad organization, but some of the issues it takes on are worthless. Some are not though. Face it Jay...we don't agree on this. Get over it.
JAY::7. I’m not sure what faith you are, but you mention that demonizing the ACLU is a bit silly. Many, many people out there feel that the ACLU are overly zealous in its crusade of “separation of Church and State”, especially towards Christianity. Are these people silly for thinking this?
GLENN: Jay, stop fretting over this. The ACLU isn't going to take away anyone's religious freedoms, to practice their faith as they chose. My faith is none of your business Jay.
JAY:: 8. In October of 2004, the ACLU turned down $1.15 million in funding from two of it’s most generous and loyal contributors, the Ford and Rockefeller foundations, saying new anti-terrorism restrictions demanded by the institutions make it unable to accept their funds.
GLENN: And your point??
JAY:: 9. In 1982, the ACLU, in an amicus role, lost in a unanimous decision in the Supreme Court to legalize the sale and distribution of child pornography.”
GLENN: Jay do you honestly believe that I don't think YOU look at porn with 17 years old in it? Heh.
JAY:: 10. One would think that an organization that claims it’s purpose is to protect our Constitutional rights would readily defend our second amendment. However, the ACLU believe that the second amendment does not apply to individuals, only militias.
GLENN: Had you read my site, my archives, done a search, you would have seen my opinion on this. But you didn't do your homework. Shame on you.
JAY::11. When I de-linked you, I got a lot of criticism, and surprisingly, a lot of praise. Many, even some of the more successful blogs, feel that some of the bigger blogs have become what they promised to save us from, MSM. Hoping to get mentioned by the MSM, etc. Some think that the bigger blogs swap links back and forth, and feel lost in the shuffle. Many included you in this list. How would you respond to this? What would you suggest to smaller blogs to get noticed?
GLENN: Like I said, stop it already with the link whoring. Stop worrying about the number of site hits. A thousand 1 second hits are worthless vs. 20 hits that suggest readers stay and READ what is put up. I have worked hard to gain a loyal readership. It takes effort and time. And patience.
JAY:: 12. . I have to ask, many want to know. Will you ever consider adding a trackback feature on your blog?
GLENN: JAY, STOP it with the trackback link whoring stuff! Haven't I told you at least twice in this interview???
November 13, 2005
Football in South Park
Our Denver Broncos are killing the limp wrist Oakland Raiders. 13 to 0 (nada, zipp, zilch, nothing.
Update: Denver 20, Oakland 0
Now if Jake Plumber can continue not making mistakes.
DIE Raiders
Blame France
When is the Moslem riots in French Canada going to happen? The gay French are giving up and now its the gay French Canadians turn? They have full benefits for Islamic terrorists. They give jobs, medical (although it sucks), and dental support.
I would like to gay Moslems to come and riot in my neighborhood. We need some new targets.
Where is uncle Ogre and his big guns.
November 12, 2005
I'm your blog daddy
Now all bow to me, your blog daddy...
my rules:
You will each be assigned a day and hour to coment
Each of your comments will have a link to me
You will call me blogdaddy
On Sunday anyone can comment but only if your comment links to me
November 11, 2005
It's good to be the King
Just saying!
Let Paris have Cake and eat it too,
I can eat my cake and have it too.
November 10, 2005
This Is Gay
This is so gay.
Maybe, someday, when I rule the blogosphere, I'll let this lameass shit into my realm, or maybe not.
Oh, yeah, Pink Floyd sucks bigass cock. Always have, always will. Pink Floyd wouldn't make a pimple on Slim Whitman's ass. Pink Floyd wouldn't make a discharge out of Britney Spears' twat, for that matter.
That concludes my test post.
November 07, 2005
The perfect crazy dance song
From one of Pink Floyd's VERY best...
WISH YOU WERE HERE
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role
in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after
year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.
This soft tune is followed by the wild and weird "Shine on You Crazy Diamond" which is something else to dance to...among other things.
The perfect country and western song
You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
It was all that I could do to keep from cryin'
Sometimes it seems so useless to remain
You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even call me by my name.
You don't have to call me Waylon Jennings
And you don't have to call me Charlie Pride.
You don't have to call me Merle Haggard, anymore.
Even though your on my fightin' side.
CHORUS
And I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain.
You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even call me by my name.
I've heard my name a few times in your phone book
I've seen it on signs where I've laid
But the only time I know, I'll hear David Allan Coe
Is when Jesus has his final judgement day.
CHORUS...
Well, a friend of mine named Steve Goodman wrote that song
and he told me it was the perfect country and western song
I wrote him back a letter and told him it was NOT the perfect
country and western song because he hadn't said anything about
Momma, or trains, or trucks, or prison, or gettin' drunk.
Well, he sat down and wrote another verse to the song and he sent
it to me and after reading it, I realized that my friend had written
the perfect country and western song. And I felt obliged to include it
on this album. The last verse goes like this here:
Well, I was drunk the day my Mom got outta prison.
And I went to pick her up in the rain.
But, before I could get to the station in my pickup truck
She got runned over by a damned old train.
CHORUS:
So I'll hang around as long as you will let me
And I never minded standin' in the rain. No,
You don't have to call me darlin', darlin'
You never even call me, I wonder why you don't call me
Why don't you ever call me by my name.
November 06, 2005
2018 A.D.
In light of the recent riots in Francistan, I thought I would bring out this gem from a few months ago. At the time people laughed and said "It'll never happen".....guess what?
It has started!!!
The elections in France have led to a surprise, and a radical imam of the Paris Mosque has been elected President of France. Within weeks the France the world knew for so long is gone, destroyed by a dark vision of the future justified by "the will of the people and Allah the Merciful".
The Islamic Caliphate of Francistan is newly established, and the purges of artists, free-thinkers, public arts and anyone non-muslim is in full swing.
The Louvre has been looted and her collected works destroyed after the newly elected President of Francistan issued orders that all graven images are forbidden. Every museum in France falls before the "Moral Police" and their "Enforcment Squads". Anyone caught trying to smuggle art out of the country is summarily beheaded.
Decrees go out across the land that Burkahs are now mandatory, men cannot shave, and the borders are closed as a precaution. Dhimmitude is the order of the day.
Any that are not devout muslim find themselves being fired from jobs and land taken from them. They are forced into camps and told that they would be found housing as soon as possible, but the squalid camps deteriorate quickly with the coming of winter, and the Red Cross and Red Crescent are denied passage to check the status of those in the camps.
Europe cowers in the shadow of a radical islamic caliphate that is now in possession of nuclear weapons, as the UN attempts to negotiate with the new leaders of Francistan. The UN's power in the world waned tremendously after President Jeb Bush followed the advice of his Secretary of State John Bolton and withdrew from the corrupt organization and threw them out of the country.
From their new offices in The Hague the still attempted to sway world events, but any clout they had was lost when Moammar Khadaffi was made Secretary General. Ever since the were seen as a nuisance with no real authority and were ignored more often than not.
The government of the US watched carefully the developments in Francistan, and indeed was finalizing plans at that very moment to destroy all of Francistans nuclear capabilties at the first sign of trouble with a secret space based weapon that was in a geo-syncronous orbit over Europe. (In actuality they had 6 of them).
It was at precisily that moment that a delegation walked up to the White House gate and asked to see the President.
It was the old government in exile of old france that had been ordered put to death for daring to speak against islam and demand a return to the tenets that had made france a great country once.
They were asking to see the President.
A secret service agent walked into the room and whispered into the Presidents ear. Grimly the President stared at the floor and and nodded, mumbling "I see".
Straightening up he looked the secret service agent dead in the eye and said, "In honor of the many years of friendship that Old France showed the United States, and in the same spirit of that friendship, I won't be meeting with the delgation from the Old French Government, and send my condolences about the current situation there with the radical muslims. Be sure to express my shock that a group as peaceful as Jihadists would even dream of destroying cultural works of art and beheading people for simply wanting to be different than the muslims would, and ummm, Joe?"
The secret service agent looked up with a sparkle knowing what was coming....."Send them out some cake" said the President.
"Of course President Bolton." Came the Reply.
Them silly Frenchies
Da Frenchies dey are dumb. First, dey try to keep a place called Al-Ger-Ia as a kolony and end up killing lots and lots of dem Al-Ger-Ians. Then, to make nice, dey let them into France but don't make them act like Frenchies. Den, de Frenchies let dem Al-Ger-Ians get all together in groups of pepuls called mobs who don like the Frenchie police to riot, burn and destroy propertie and de Frenchies dey don do nuttin about it.
Well, you can e-magine that all kinds of hell break loose in dat Frenchie Kapital called Paris (hey, ain't dat a girls name or somesuch?) and de Frenchies don do nuttin bout it cept gripe and say dey gonna do somthin. But what dey gonna do? Shoot a buncha folks? I don know, but it seem to me dat de Frenchies gonna get lots 'O pepul mads at em and maybe dose pepul in the World Court or somesuch gonna put em on trial for crimes against inhumanity. Or sumpin like dat. But me, hey, I'm so old, I don know for what anyway, but it sure seem to me like de Frenchies be awful dumb. My frien' Jake, he even older den me, he say de Frenchies do what dey allus do in da pass, dey gonna surrender and a green flag wit a cress-cent and a star gonna fly over the Eifel Tower some day.
Could be... GM, reportin' and out!
Denver legalizes Marijuana
Cartman: Dude, if we move to Denver we can smoke Pot! Is that the same as pots and pans?
My mom has lots of pots and she like to use them.
Chef: I like your momma, and she likes me, we can make love like everyone else (cept you kids...)
But Their Insurgents....
France is like under attack by some pissed off Muslims. I guess they don't like be oppressed by The Man in that gay ass beret. I think the French should just chill out and ask the question, "Can't we all just get along?"
There are some people in Iraq kinda like the people in France, I mean they are Muslim too. See but the people in Iraq are terrorists or insurgents if you listen to the assclowns on the news. So does that mean that the Muslims in France that are rioting are really just insurgents or freedom fighters too?
When we were trying to prevent Satan from taking over the world by killing Terrence and Phillip, The Mole taught us that people who fight oppression are freedom fighters. We should help the freedom fighters of France by dropping supplies and stuff.
Actually even though French people suck, terrorist scum suck worse. We should like drop some nukes on France and just be done with it.
Who is OLD?
Much is being said about GM being OLD. I'll have you know that I was indeed around during the Crusades, but I was young then. I'm only a little older now. Being older has its advantages, one of those is that when you say you've seen it all, you probably have.
Another advantage is that you can do things that "adults" can't get away with, like drool, slobber, pass gas, pinch good looking women on the fanny and other things. No one cares other than "Oh, forget about him, he can't help it."
But, I'm not as old as Jake by a long shot. In fact, I was going through my attic the other day and found Jake's first "Last Will and Testament" It was written on a clay tablet in cuniform.
Jake left everything he had to Methusela, his great, great, great grand nephew. What can I say?
So, I'll be posting her from time to time, just look for me, The Crusader.
November 05, 2005
Cruupy DeVille Needs Help
ACHERES, France — More than 250 predominantly Muslim youths were arrested in Paris' suburbs Saturday during the ninth straight day of rioting—and the worst day of arson—since the riots began more than a week ago.
Calling all peace loving world citizens:
Hello. I am Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin and I need your help. We need to go to the UN to seek a resolution condeming these riots; we cannot do this alone as a nation. France depends upon the world to maintain peace within it's own borders. Please join me at the UN. I need help forming a request.
Youths armed with gasoline bombs moved from Paris' poor, troubled suburbs to shatter the calm of higher-class towns, torching roughly 900 vehicles, a nursery school and other targets.Police deployed small teams of officers backed by a helicopter to track and chase down youths who sped from one attack to another in cars and on motorbikes.
The violence — originally concentrated in neighborhoods northeast of Paris with large immigrant populations — is forcing France (search) to confront anger long-simmering in its suburbs, where many Africans and their French-born children live on society's margins, struggling with unemployment, poor housing, racial discrimination, crime and a lack of opportunity.
How do we help this situation? How do we bring these citizens up to our level in society?
1) Make them work?
2) Hold them accountable for their actions?
3) KILL THEM ALL?? (Like we killed Kenny?)